70 Year Old Taste

Q: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like?
A: Depends.

Bill and Bob Camping

Bill and Bob go on a hunting trip. At night in their tent, Bill tells Bob about a hunting trip he went on in Canada. "A few years ago I was in Canada hunting. My buddies and I called it a night and made camp. When I woke up there was a moose right in front of my face! I was so scared I shit my pants!" Bob replies, "Hell, I woulda shit my pants too, crazy moose." Bill looks at Bob seriously and says, "No, I really shit my pants. Apparently I shit my pants when I sleep and the smell attracted the moose. Good night Bob."

Time To Do The Laundry

The Top 10 Signs That Its Time To Do The Laundry

1. You're wearing your last pair of underwear in the shower consistently.
2. You've worn your sheets to school because you can't get them off of you.
3. Your socks act like a shirt does when its heavily starched and emit a serious funk.
4. Your roommate walks around wearing a full body medical suit like they did in the movie "Outbreak" to avoid catching the Ebola virus.
5. The Snuggle Bear on the softener bottle officially died last week.
6. The DEA's drug sniffing dog is always coming by to sniff your laundry because the strong stench makes him think you have 28 tons of pot in your closet.
7. Even after sewing 28 spring scented dryer sheets to the inside of your shirt, your friends still say you reek.
8. The phrase "Wash Me" is visibly written in your jeans.
9. Your red T-shirt is now green.
10. The boss pulls you aside to remind you that your company's casual days does not include your college graduation gown and scuba diving fins.