Need to Stop Meeting Like This

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.

Fatty McVirgin

Q: What's the difference between a fat woman and a virgin?
A: A fat woman's trying to diet, and the virgin's dying to try it!

Hole In The Wall

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper. There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned." The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.