Teamsters Light Bulbs

Q: How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Thirty-seven. You gotta f**kin' problem with that?

Digging Vampire

Q: Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with a finger up his nose?
A: He was a ghoulsniffer!

Sex with Sister

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have sex with her while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car.