Crooked Teeth

Your sister's teeth are so crooked, Amtrack had to install her braces.

Beyond The Grave E-mail

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.

The e-mail reads:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Safe Jump

There are 4 people on a jet. The pilot, a little girl, an old priest, and a blonde. Something goes wrong on the plane and everyone has to jump out. There are only 3 parachutes. The pilot jumps first, then the blonde. There is only one parachute left so the old priest says to the little girl, "You take the last parachute. You still have your entire life to go through. I am old you are young and I know that God and Jesus would want it this way." "That's okay," The little girl replies with a smile. He looks at her puzzled. "The blonde took my back pack."