Funny Thoughts

Rabbit Chase

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and out number them?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Women vs. Dogs

Q: What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?
A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

You Know You're Middle Aged If...

  • You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.
  • The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car—in the “ten items or less” lane.
  • You’ve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.
  • You’ve found yourself discussing rain gutters.
  • You remember your kid’s names, just not always the right one.
  • You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.
  • Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.
  • You buy “age-defying” makeup and “antiwrinkle” creams and believe they work.
  • You’ve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.
  • You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator music.
  • As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.
  • You’ve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic—“for the last time in a generation”
  • You’d pay good money to be strip-searched.
  • Wal-Mart and target seem to share your fashion sense.
  • The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.
  • You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag—in less than five minutes.
  • You know what Earth Shoes are.
  • You think if you hear “Stairway to Heaven” one more time your head will explode.
  • Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.
  • On Saturday night, when your wife mentions “hot oil, a little friction, and squealing,” you tell her you’ll have the car looked at first thing Monday morning.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Trackuser=No (Robot detected) |IsRobot=Yes |

Page rendered in 0.3018 seconds