Lonely Adam

One day God was talking to Adam and he said "Adam you look lonely, I know I'll give you a woman but it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam said "what can I get for a rib?" The rest is history.

Suicidal Stanley Cup

Ron Hextal, the Flyer's goalie, was so upset about losing the Stanley Cup that he decided to commit suicide, so he jumped out in front of a bus. It went through his legs.

Driving Bananna

Q: Why do bananas get traffic tickets when they drive their vehicles?
A: Because they like to peel out before they split.