New Math

66% of the people don't understand percent while the other 42% lie about it.

Yo Mama - Restroom

Yo mama so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."

Jodi's Purse

A drunk guy calls a radio station on Christmas day and asks for the DJ. He tells him that he found a purse outside the mall. It has $1500 in cash, a couple of credit cards, an iPhone 13 pro, and a driver's license with Jodi's name on it."
The DJ replied, "Wow, sort of a Christmas miracle. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"
"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Jodi."