Goofy Wonderings

• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
• If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
• In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
• How come there aren't B batteries?
• If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
• How do you throw away a garbage can?
• How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
• What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
• Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
• Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
• What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
• When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
• What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

Measure Up

Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed.  What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.

Baker's Garden

Q: Why did the baker go out to the garden?
A: He needed some flower.