Five Year Plan

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: Tough question, I don't have 2020 vision.

Mime Unrest

My uncle was thrown out of a mime show for having a seizure – they thought he was heckling.

Need to Stop Meeting Like This

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.