Birth Control Pills

A fourth grade teacher asks the class, "Have any of you ever saved somebody's life?" A little boy raises his hand, "Yes, my little nephew's." "Wow, what a little hero you are! How did you do that, sweetie?" asks the teacher. The little guy replies, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!"

Teamsters Light Bulbs

Q: How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Thirty-seven. You gotta f**kin' problem with that?

Digging Vampire

Q: Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with a finger up his nose?
A: He was a ghoulsniffer!