Nice Try

Organized a day of entertainment to try and raise money for charity. The police turned up, shut it down, and closed off the area.
My fete is sealed

One Line Bumper Stickers

• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Earn cash in your spare time... blackmail friends.
• Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It works better if you plug it in. 

Werewolf Hairdresser

Q: What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A: A creature with an all over perm!