Old Habits Die Hard

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18, he joined the Marines, but old habits die hard. One night, the sergeant found him rummaging around in the garbage and eating out of the discarded cans and jars. "On your feet, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in the mess hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"

Mexican Pizza Cutter

Q: How do Mexicans cut their pizza?
A: Little Caesars.

Waiter

Being a waiter isn't a very glamorous job.
But at least it puts food on the table.