College Burger Joint Conversations Nationwide

M.I.T.: "I had a nervous breakdown this weekend." "Have some fries."
Caltech: "I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend." "Have some fries."
Yale: "I got mugged on the way to class today." "Have some fries."
Brown: "I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith." "Cool! Me too! Have some fries."
Swarthmore: "I got a B." "Anywhere else it would have been an A. Have some fries."
Princeton: "My father took away my Porsche this weekend." "Poor dear. Have some Escargot."
Harvard: "Did you do anything this weekend?" "Nope. Have some fries."
Williams: "Don't I know you?" "Of course you do, silly. Have some fries."
Cornell: "I killed my lab partner this weekend." "Bummer. Have some fries."
Columbia: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school." "Me too. Let's go get shot."
Penn: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school." "Me too. Let's transfer to Columbia."
Stanford: "Dude, I have so much work this weekend." "Like, chill out, dude. Have some, like, fries."
Dartmouth: "Oh man, I got so trashed this weekend." "Have some beer."
Tufts: "I wish I were Ivy League." "Here, drink the fry grease."

Four Food Groups

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

Crossing A Sheepdog With A Melon

Q: How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
A: Melon-collie!