Tomatos

Q: What did the mamma tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: "Catch up!!!"

Spell Ice Cream

This little old lady walks into an ice cream parlor and asks for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are all out of chocolate ice cream'. The lady says 'OK, I'll take one scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup.' The man says 'Ma-am, we are all out of chocolate'. The little old lady says 'OK, then I'll have a single scoop of chocolate in a cone'. The man, a little more irritated this time says 'Ok, lady. Spell van as in vanilla'. The lady says V A N, The man says, 'OK, spell straw as in strawberry'. The lady says S T R A W. The man says, 'OK, now spell fuck as in chocolate'. The lady says there ain't no fuck in chocolate. The man says, 'Lady, that's what I've been trying to tell you all along!

Last Meal

An infamous killer is on death row. He is allowed one last meal an hour before he dies. So the guy asks if he can have his favorite food. He wants Mexican. The guards give him what he wants. An hour goes by and it is time for his death. One guard asks if he had any last words. The guy replies, "Yeah... pull my finger."