Potty Training

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.  His mother thinks he's been in the bathroom too long, so she goes in to see what's up.  The little boy is sitting on the toilet looking at pictures in a book.  About every 15 seconds, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on the top of his head with his right hand.  His mother is amused but can't figure out why he's doing it.  She asks, "Why are you hitting yourself on the head?"  The boy answered, "It works for ketchup."
 

Standing in Line

A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, "Hey, Dad, look how fat that lady is!" "Shhhh, quiet, Son, she'll hear you." "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice!" "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice and it's rude!" Suddenly the fat lady's cell phone began beeping. "Look out, Dad, she's backing up!"

Two Executives Working In The Garment Center

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life."
"What happened?" asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans,
"My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!"
"You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!"
"How can you say that your week was worse than mine?" asks Goldstein. "It was identical!"
"You shmuck!" replies Birnbaum. "I manufacture men's garments!"