Internet Time

Q: Dad, is it true that spending time on the internet makes you dumber?"
A: "omg son lol"

Potty Training

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.  His mother thinks he's been in the bathroom too long, so she goes in to see what's up.  The little boy is sitting on the toilet looking at pictures in a book.  About every 15 seconds, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on the top of his head with his right hand.  His mother is amused but can't figure out why he's doing it.  She asks, "Why are you hitting yourself on the head?"  The boy answered, "It works for ketchup."
 

Standing in Line

A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, "Hey, Dad, look how fat that lady is!" "Shhhh, quiet, Son, she'll hear you." "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice!" "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice and it's rude!" Suddenly the fat lady's cell phone began beeping. "Look out, Dad, she's backing up!"