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Jokes about Families - Father Jokes
Your Father is Drunk
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Oh you better not shout, you better not cry, You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why, Daddy's home and I think he's drunk. He's walkin' real slow, he slurs when he speaks, I don't even think he's shaved in two weeks, Daddy's home and boy is he drunk, He spent most of our money on Johnny Walker Black And then he took all of the rest and lost it at the track. Sooooooo.... You better not pout, you better not cry, I don't like that look in his eye, Daddy's home and I think he's... Daddy's home and boy is he... Daddy's home and he's really drunk!
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Thumb Sucking
A mom, dad and their two sons watch TV. The dad gives the mom a look, and they head upstairs. The two little boys wonder what they are doing and go upstairs to take a peek. "Well," says the older boy, "remember this when mom gets on your case for sucking your thumb."
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Great Singer
From Reader's Digest, June 1992: I grew up in a non-musical family; only one of our five siblings can even carry a tune. So, I've restricted my singing to private places like the bathtub or the car. But one night, I softly sang a lullaby to my nine-month-old baby. After the first verse, he sweetly looked into my eyes, removed the pacifier from his mouth and placed it in mine.
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