Alien Laws

A Californian and an Texan were deer hunting in the brush of south Texas when an illegal alien runs across a clearing. The Texan takes careful aim, shoots and kills him. "You can't do that!" cried the Californian. "It's legal here in Texas " replies the Texan.
Later that night the Californian goes to town to buy some beer from Walmart. He puts the beer on the roof of his truck and while he's making room behind the seat, an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer and runs away. The Californian draws his pistol, shoots and kills him. As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.
"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!" protests the Californian. "Well, yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."

Driver's Ed Sex Ed

Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A: They don't want to wear out the camel.

Robbery Verdict

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's great!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"