Russian War College Class

At the Russian War College, the General is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight a World War Three?" "Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the General. "And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks. "The likelihood is that it will be China." The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion. How can we possibly win?" "Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews have been the winners every time." "But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have enough Jews?"

Nazi Foreplay

Q: What is Nazi foreplay?
A: Yell "Don't scream or I'll kill you."

Naked X3

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact", he pointed out, "Some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple?" "Because I am the artist, who painted the picture," he replied. "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."