U.S. Citizen Application

A woman from another country wants to come to the United States. So she goes to the visa department to get a visa. When she gets the form, she fills out her name. Her first name is ''Wanna'' and her last name, ''Fuckme.'' The visa guy reads over the application and says, ''I'm sorry I can't accept this name. It's inappropriate and you're going to have to change it.'' So, the woman leaves, and is gone for a month and when she returns, she fills out the same form again.
She writes her first name, ''Wanna,'' and her last name ''Fuckme-Please.'''

Few Words

A woman catches a train and finds herself sitting opposite a little old Scotsman wearing a kilt. “Excuse me,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I always wanted to know what a man wears under one of these things.” The Scotsman replies, “I’m a man o’ few words, madam. Give me yer hand…”

It's The Carburetor

An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him. Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."