Forecasting Genius

A film crew was filming in the highlands in Scotland when an old Gaelic seer came hobbling by and said, "Tomorrow rain," and hobbled on. Sure enough it rained the very next day. Again he hobbled past and said, "Tomorrow sunshine." It was indeed a fine sunny day the next day. The director was mighty impressed and got the crew to hire him and every day the wise old sage predicted accurately what the weather would be. But after a couple of weeks the old man didn't show up and eventually the director found him in a bothy and said, "Hey, we need your predictions, why aren't you showing up?" "Radio broken," the old man replied.

Australian Kiss

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: It's a French kiss down under.

Greek Yogurt

Bought a Greek style yogurt. When I opened it there was just a note inside that said "IOU one yogurt"