Belfast Taxi

An American guy goes to Belfast and the taxi driver at the airport asks him if he's Protestant or Catholic. Guy says he's jewish. The cab driver says, "Oh, I understand." A minute of silence passes and the driver asks, "So are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"

What Scotsmen Eat

Q: What do Scotsmen eat?
A: Tart'n'pie!

Old Italian Couple

An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian woman goes to ask another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No, I'm sorry ma'am, I haven't seen your husband." The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers: "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split." To which the Italian woman answers: "No no no, that's not-a my tony, he pinch-a the bum, grab-a the breasts but he no lickety split!"