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Ethnic / Country Jokes
Tiger's Mercedes
Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky in his new Mercedes. He stopped at a small gas station and asked the mechanic if he could get his oil changed. "Why sure," the mechanic said, not seeming to recognize the golf star. About thirty minutes later the oil change is complete. As Tiger started to back the car out, the mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Tiger what they were for. Tiger looked down at the tees on his dash and says, "Those are what I set my balls on." The old man replied, "Boy oh Boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"
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California Rowboat
A U.S. Navy Destroyer stopped four Mexicans in a rowboat heading toward the coast of California. The Captain gets on the loud-speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?" One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, " We're invading California to reclaim the territory taken by the U.S. during the 1800's." The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-speaker and asks, "Just the four of you?" The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The other 2.3 million are already there!"
Nobody on the destroyer laughed.
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A Newfie
Q: How do you get a one-armed newfie out of a tree?
A: Wave!
Q: How do you get a two-armed newfie out of a tree?
A: Wave both hands!
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