Gone into Labor

Frantically a man calls 911.
"Help! My wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" replied the operator.
"Of course not, you idiot," yelled the man "this is her husband!"

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Baby Job

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."