Dark Humor Jokes - Domestic Violence Jokes

The Girl With Two Black Eyes?

Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Jumping the Gun

I went to a crematorium to plan my wife's funeral, but apparently she has to be dead first.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2015 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Shots Fired

Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene.  After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor,  they called their sergeant for advice on his cell phone. 
  
 "Hello Sarge.”      "Yes.” 
 "It looks like we have a homicide here. “
 "What happened?”
 "A woman shot her husband for walking on the wet floor she had just mopped.” 
 "Have you placed her under arrest?”
 "No sir.  The floor is still wet."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Anonymous
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