Dark Humor Jokes - Domestic Violence Jokes

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing! You already told her twice!

Q: How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?

A: Put her in a Patriots jersey

Word has it that OJ Simpson is getting remarried

He’s gonna take another stab at it.

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" " I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." " You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" " The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." " I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." " I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"