Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Final Curtain

At his annual checkup, a man is told that he has contracted a deadly disease and has only twelve hours to live. His only consolation is that it’s not contagious. When he gets home, he tells his wife the awful news. She is devastated and says, “Honey, let’s make love tonight. It will be the night of your life.” They make love with a passion, and it’s amazing, and they kiss and go to sleep. A little while later he wakes her up and says, “How about we do it again?” They make love again, and it’s even better and more bittersweet. They are exhausted. Sensing the end approaching, the husband asks, “Hey, how about just one more time?” “That’s easy for you to say,” the wife says. “You don’t have to get up in the morning.”

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Anonymous

Britney Spears Drinking Milk

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cow Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous

Breaking the News

A guy is just getting back from a long business trip out of the country. He’d left his cat with his brother. As soon as he’s back at the airport, he calls his brother and asks about the cat. “The cat’s dead,” the brother says. The guy is devastated. “Hey, that cat meant a lot to me. Don’t you know any better than to break bad news like that? Jeez. You ought to say, ‘Well, the cat got out on the roof, and the fire department came. They put up the ladder, but the cat was afraid to let go. It was cold outside, and finally when they were able to get up there the cat had passed away from exposure.’ You know, break it gently.” “Man, I’m sorry,” the brother says. “I’ll do a better job next time.” “Okay. Anyway, what’s really important is family. How have you been all this time? How’s Mom?” “Well,” the brother says. “Mom got out on the roof..."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Submitted BY: JackD
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