Vatican Police

Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak?
A: Pig Latin!

Rules of Belfast

Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving. Late Sunday evening, he was found in tree by a farmer. "What happened," asked the farmer. Liam replied that his parachute failed to open. "Well," said the farmer, "if you had of asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you that nothing opens here on a Sunday."

Bible Talk!

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck it in the door: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me. - Revelation 3:20"
The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preacher's message was written the following notation: "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself. - Genesis 3:10"