The Spiritual Leader

One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, "Youngman, you're much too young to smoke!" The kid looks up at the Pope and says, "Fuck you!" The Pope is completely taken aback. "What?" he says. "You say that to me, the Pontiff, the Vicar of Christ, the head of the Roman Catholic Church? I am the spiritual leader for millions of people, young man, the representative of God, and you dare to say that to me?'  No, no, no, kid, Fuck You!"

Lunch Menu

Q: What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
A: He had his first taste of Christianity!

Holy Spirit

There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church. The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said, "... But they'll steal my bike." The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside. The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it... "In the name of the Father, The Son... Amen" The priest said ,"What about the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied, "It's outside taking care of my bike!"