Long Line

My girlfriend has asked if I want to go to karaoke. I've decided to do Whitney Houston's biggest hit. You know, that one she took in the bath. Anything to avoid having to go to karaoke.

House Puzzle

Q: A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly, she died of shock. What kind of house did she live in?
A: A lighthouse!

Salesman and Hit Man Playing Golf

Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" " I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." " You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" " The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." " I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." " I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"