Duck and Rabbi

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head. "What's the deal?" the bartender asks. The duck says, "It's opposite day."

Goose and Lady in Bar

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''

Ugly Woman

A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman with a parrot on her shoulder.
The woman looks over at the guy and says, "If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder...I'll sleep with you."
The guy says: "An alligator?"
The woman replies: "Close enough!"