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Bar Jokes
Engineer in a Bar
There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
"Hey bartender," said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there."
The bartender responded, "I'm sorry, sir, but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here."
"Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up."
The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn't help noticing the bruising under his chin. What is that all about?" the Engineer responded, "Oh... that's where we put the jack."
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Motorist Stopped By Police
Q: A policeman stops a motorist and asks, "Excuse me, sir, have you been drinking?"
A: The motorist says, "Why -- do I got an ugly girl next to me?"
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Drunk Man Finding Jesus
A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus. "Sure," said the drunk man. "I'll find Jesus." So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and coughing. "Damn," said the drunk man. "Are you sure he fell in there?"
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