Donkey Woman!

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.  The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies",  I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".  The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. This happens twice more.  A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the rest room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks. The barman gets the drinks and says, "It's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as 'the jackass'. I just had to tell you because I don't think it's very fair for him to call you that". The woman turns to him and smiles and says, "Oh, don't worry, it's ok. Heehaw, heehaw, he always calls me that"!

I Screwed Your Mom

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

Goose and Lady in Bar

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''