Feather Line

Two guys are drinking in a bar. Soon, a gorgeous brunette comes in. The first guy says, "Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What Did You Just Say?" she asks. "Particularly nasty weather," he replies. The brunette says, "Oh," and leaves. Then a really hot redhead walks in. The first guy looks in her eyes and says, "Tickle your ass with a feather?" Her face lights up and she purrs, "Yeah!" So they leave and two hours later the first guy comes back for another drink. Shocked, the second guy asks the first one how he did it. He explains that he uses the line on every woman, and if they're shocked he covers by saying, "Particularly nasty weather," but otherwise, some girls are up for it. Eager to try it, the second guy waits for another woman to enter the bar. Soon a blonde walks in. He nervously says, "Stick your ass with a feather?" "EXCUSE ME?" shouts the blonde. The guy reddens and stutters, "Uh, sorry, um... did you know it's fucking raining out?"

Donkey Woman!

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.  The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies",  I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".  The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. This happens twice more.  A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the rest room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks. The barman gets the drinks and says, "It's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as 'the jackass'. I just had to tell you because I don't think it's very fair for him to call you that". The woman turns to him and smiles and says, "Oh, don't worry, it's ok. Heehaw, heehaw, he always calls me that"!

I Screwed Your Mom

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''