Trumpets and Birth Control

Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.

The Cellist

Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Viola Recording

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.