Lisping Midget

A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said  "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez". Then the midget asked if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth." Then the midget asked if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat. The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."

Midget Visits the Doctor

A midget walks into the doctors and says, "Doc, I've got these fucking itchy balls and I can't do anything to stop 'em itching." The Doc says, "I can see the problem and I'll fix it for ya." So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. The midget hears snip, snip snip noises for about 5 minutes. The doc finishes and says, "How's that?" The midget says, "Fucking brilliant, what did you do?" The Doc says, "I trimmed back your high boots."

Trouble Reaching the 10th Floor

Q: A man lives and works in the same building. Every day he takes the elevator from the 10th floor down to the 1st floor where he works. At the end of the day he rides from the 1st floor up to the 7th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
A: He is a dwarf and can't reach the 10th floor button.