You Know You're Ugly When...

Q: How do you know when you're really ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Dogs Lick

Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can!

Sleeping Pills

An exhausted blonde dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep." "I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills. A few of these and your trouble will be over." "Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything." A few weeks later the blonde returned looking even worse. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" "I don't understand how that could be," replied the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market." "That may be true," answered the blonde, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one they won't swallow the pill."