The Irishman's Missing Dog

An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable. His wife says, "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"  So he does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.

Jumping Blind

Q: Why don't blind people like to skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog!

Rottweiler Goes To The Vet

A man's big Rottweiler has been losing its vision, so the owner brings the dog to the vet. The veterinarian picks the dog up and says, "I will have to put him down." The owner asks, "Why? Because he's blind?" The vet replied, "No, he's heavy. I need to put him down."