The Dog or The Wife?

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

New Dog Breed

Q: A: Did you here about the new breed of dog?
A: It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie. First it bites off your leg, and then it runs for help.

The Funeral

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse going down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked who was in the first one. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave was taken aback. "And who's in the second hearse?" "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well."
Dave asked, "Can I borrow your dog?"
"Get in line."