Personal Trainer

I have a personal trainer. She makes me chase rabbits though the woods three times a day at a dead run. Also, she has 4 legs and a tail.

A Woman Goes Into A Bar

A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!"

Dog that Hears Voices

Q: What do you call a dog that hears voices?
A: A Shih-Tzu-Phrenic!