Paying In Advance

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now

Britney Spears Drinking Milk

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Stand-Up Bull

Q: What do you call a bull who tells jokes?
A: Laugh-a-bull!