Two Fat Robbins

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Me, too" said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one. "Me either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second. "O.K." said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up. As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought... are you ready for this... "I just love baskin' robins!"

Do You Like Pussy Cats

A man walks up to a stranger in the street. "Do you like pussy cats?" said the stranger. "Yeah, I do," said the man. "But how did you know my name was 'Katz?''

I Flattened Your Cat

A man was driving for hours through desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, a cat ran out in front of him and before the man could react; *splat*, he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon me madame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off..." "Not so fast", she interrupts. "How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?" The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like this" as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression. "Oh no, you horrible man", she replied, "I meant, what did he look like before you hit him?" At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed "Ahhhhhhhhh!!"