The Bird of True Love

Q: If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?
A: The Swallow.

Two Eagles Are Soaring Along

Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly a passenger jet screams past them. One eagle says to the other, "Wow, did you see how fast that thing was moving?" The other replies, "Yeah. You'd move fast too if you had three assholes and they were all on fire!"

Special Parrot

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.  He asked the salesman for some assistance. The sales guy brought the man to a parrot in the back.  "Now this is the perfect pet for your wife. Chet is a very special animal", the salesman said.  "What makes him so special?", the man asked.  The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chet's right foot and Chet started to sing, "Jingle bells, jingle bells..", and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing, "Deck the halls...".  So the man asked, "What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?"  "Well I don't know", answered the salesman.  So he holds the lighter between the parrot's legs and instantly Chet began to sing.  "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."