A Black Guy In A Bar

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks up and says "where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies "Over in Africa, there's millions of them !! "

Tree Talk

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Irishman Went to a Pet Shop

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99," replied the shop owner.  "Give us the lot," said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, then he put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur," he replied, "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping!"