Difficult Homework

Bill: "My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."
Bert: "Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."

Brotherly Love

An old lady’s cat gives birth to a litter of kittens. She says to the vet, “How could it have happened? She never leaves the house. How could she meet another cat?” “What about that tom sitting on the sofa?” asks the vet. “Don’t be ridiculous ,” says the old lady. That's her brother.

Newfies Changing A Tire

Q: How many Newfies does it take to change a flat tire?
A: Five. One to seal the inner tube and four to club the seal.