Brotherly Love

An old lady’s cat gives birth to a litter of kittens. She says to the vet, “How could it have happened? She never leaves the house. How could she meet another cat?” “What about that tom sitting on the sofa?” asks the vet. “Don’t be ridiculous ,” says the old lady. That's her brother.

A Talking Horse

A traveling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races and won over $5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn. "The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found the horse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal. "Oh, you don't want that horse," said the farmer. "Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you $10,000 for the horse. "Recognizing a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He's yours." While he wrote out his check, the salesman asked, "By the way, why wouldn't I want your horse?" "Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his life."

Newfies Changing A Tire

Q: How many Newfies does it take to change a flat tire?
A: Five. One to seal the inner tube and four to club the seal.