Cat's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep, I pray for toys that look like mice and warm cushions soft and nice.  For grocery bags where I can hide, just like a tiger crouched inside. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks and someone nice to scratch my back. For window sills all warm and bright for shadows to explore by night. I pray I'll always stay real cool and keep the secret feline rule. To never tell a human that, the world is really run by cats.

Bear and a Deer

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?
A: Beer
 

Short Dog

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Ground hound.