Forgetful Chicken

Q: Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

Christmas Eve Cookie Dough

Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Billy came running downstairs. ''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''

Turkey's Favorite Song

Q: What's a turkey's favorite song?
A: "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"