The Road Runner

The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around. He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!" The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked." The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off. The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

A Blonde's Chicken Bag

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'' The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

Pet Advice

Thanks to the people who said it is fine to let your pets sleep in your bed. My goldfish is now dead.