Elephant and a Flea

Q:  What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
A:  An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!

The Road Runner

The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around. He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!" The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked." The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off. The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

A Blonde's Chicken Bag

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'' The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"