Bullshit

A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree", sighed the pheasant, "but I haven"t got the energy". Well, why don"t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They"re packed with nutrients". The pheasant pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch and so on. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree, whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the pheasant right out of the tree. Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won"t keep you there.

Busy Bee Doctor

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I'm busy!

Elephant's Pints

Q: What's gray and comes in pints?
A: An elephant.